Welcome!
Thanks for taking the time to check around this blog. I hope it's not a waste of your time but that you can gather up encouragement from this story shared here. I don't want to make it a novel but I also don't want to leave anything important out.
I'll try to keep it simple.
:)
Thanks for taking the time to check around this blog. I hope it's not a waste of your time but that you can gather up encouragement from this story shared here. I don't want to make it a novel but I also don't want to leave anything important out.
I'll try to keep it simple.
:)
~~~~~
I never expected to see a picture of myself that would make me cry. It was just a random picture snapped by a friend posted to facebook but I thought, 'Do I really look that bad?'. I let the tears flow but didn't know how to solve this horrible problem.
In middle school I went through this time of trying anorexia, it's strange because I wasn't large but my friend was doing it and she received attention for it and maybe that played into my trying it out but to be honest it didn't last long at all because I love to eat.
Being active growing up allowed me to have a great metabolism that kept up with my large appetite.
Our family gatherings were a mix of good company and incredible food.
When I was married at the young age of 19 I went from living at home to living with a husband and there was a sense of freedom in cooking and eating out. I ate a lot that first 6 months and gained some weight. I was a bank teller and the job consisted of long hours of sitting and there was normally snacks around that the ladies brought in. Kind, but not helpful!
I didn't even know what gaining weight was like until I started to see pictures and felt awful.
When my husband left for basic training I decided to lose the weight. I believe all that I did was cut back on food.
We moved out to Maryland a few months after that and I continued to see the weight fall off. In January of that year I was a married girl in a new state and my husband didn't have a lot of time to spend with me. I was pretty lonely and since we were only going to be there for a short while I didn't look for a job.
In middle school I went through this time of trying anorexia, it's strange because I wasn't large but my friend was doing it and she received attention for it and maybe that played into my trying it out but to be honest it didn't last long at all because I love to eat.
Being active growing up allowed me to have a great metabolism that kept up with my large appetite.
Our family gatherings were a mix of good company and incredible food.
When I was married at the young age of 19 I went from living at home to living with a husband and there was a sense of freedom in cooking and eating out. I ate a lot that first 6 months and gained some weight. I was a bank teller and the job consisted of long hours of sitting and there was normally snacks around that the ladies brought in. Kind, but not helpful!
I didn't even know what gaining weight was like until I started to see pictures and felt awful.
When my husband left for basic training I decided to lose the weight. I believe all that I did was cut back on food.
We moved out to Maryland a few months after that and I continued to see the weight fall off. In January of that year I was a married girl in a new state and my husband didn't have a lot of time to spend with me. I was pretty lonely and since we were only going to be there for a short while I didn't look for a job.
So I ran.
A LOT.
We're talking two times a day sometimes but I loved it at the time.
There was a gym on the base for my neighborhood and also a beautiful trail near our town home.
I didn't eat a lot at the time either for a lack of appetite but I looked the best I ever had. A combination of being fit and tanning.
A LOT.
We're talking two times a day sometimes but I loved it at the time.
There was a gym on the base for my neighborhood and also a beautiful trail near our town home.
I didn't eat a lot at the time either for a lack of appetite but I looked the best I ever had. A combination of being fit and tanning.
(This is one of my best friends that I made near the end of our time in MD. God blesses!)
But can I tell you it was the worst 5 months of my life before I met this sweet friend. I was incredibly unhappy and lonely and made some foolish decisions as a result.
I spent those months angry at God and stepped far away from him because I didn't want to be a military wife with a husband who was too busy to meet my needs. (I wish so badly for a do-over) Talk about selfish.
The thing is that I love God. When I was a little girl I asked him to be in my heart and we had a relationship over the years. He was the only one that could make me whole. No one or thing could the way he did. I am thankful for those last few months in MD that I was able to spend time reading his word and accepting this new role. That is when I began writing the my blog 'Embracing This Life' which at first was titled, 'The life of a young navy wife'.
When we moved my husband was heading on his first deployment and I was going to stay with my parents.
When we moved my husband was heading on his first deployment and I was going to stay with my parents.
It was quite a blessing to discover we were expecting our first child.
I had such a great pregnancy and those 9 months were some of the sweetest in all of my life!
I continued to run up until about 6 or 7 months and I didn't really focus on food much. I was living a full life and enjoying every minute of it!
When my husband came home we headed out to VA and settled into a nice apartment in a new town.
I was excited for him to return and start our new life right before our boy was to be born.
I had such a great pregnancy and those 9 months were some of the sweetest in all of my life!
I continued to run up until about 6 or 7 months and I didn't really focus on food much. I was living a full life and enjoying every minute of it!
When my husband came home we headed out to VA and settled into a nice apartment in a new town.
I was excited for him to return and start our new life right before our boy was to be born.
After my son was born I lost all of the baby weight from not eating as much and nursing.
I really don't think all new moms were as stressed as I was but nerves run high with such a big change and responsibility. I loved this child beyond what I thought possible but being far from everything comfortable and trying to re-integrate with my husband were proving more difficult than expected.
Darren went back to work and I stayed home. I developed a bad habit of feeding lonely around this time and working out wasn't as easy. You are exhausted, and the last thing I wanted to do was work out or even care about how I looked.
My son is almost two years old now and in the middle of those two years I struggled with binge eating disorder. We moved from the apartment to a beautiful rental home and even though I became more comfortable as a mother I became lonely. Food was my happy.
I would be lazy and we'd order out a lot or i'd watch t.v. and mindlessly eat and I tried to fill a void.
I didn't even realize what was going on but the binges were getting worse. I started to feel ashamed that I was addicted to food in this extreme way and that i'd gained 20-25 lbs from it.
For a long time I went back and forth with the same 5 lbs caught up in this cycle of defeat and working out like a mad women only back to defeat.
My son is almost two years old now and in the middle of those two years I struggled with binge eating disorder. We moved from the apartment to a beautiful rental home and even though I became more comfortable as a mother I became lonely. Food was my happy.
I would be lazy and we'd order out a lot or i'd watch t.v. and mindlessly eat and I tried to fill a void.
I didn't even realize what was going on but the binges were getting worse. I started to feel ashamed that I was addicted to food in this extreme way and that i'd gained 20-25 lbs from it.
For a long time I went back and forth with the same 5 lbs caught up in this cycle of defeat and working out like a mad women only back to defeat.
(Here shows some of the weight gain)
One night I admitted to my husband that something wasn't right and I needed to get control of this.
Months later I wrote this post {Click Here}.
I was recovering and discovering hope through Christ.
I didn't want to be on a diet or feel bogged down with this large amount of weight I needed to lose.
I was tired of discouraged living and wanted freedom and so I decided to chase it.
Jesus' death was for me, so that I wouldn't be trapped in loneliness or despair.
He came and saved me but I chose to believe otherwise when I went to food for comfort.
He is the true comforter I learned when He tenderly brought me back to a solid foundation.
I received a pouring in of messages from women sharing their stories and how they too were dealing with the same thing and plenty of thanks for writing that post. It was being pinned on pinterest and as I wrote these woman back I thought I want to show them where I am today. How i'm living and dealing with all of this now.
So that is what i'm doing here. Giving you a glimpse into how I'm losing weight and why i'm choosing a healthier disciplined lifestyle.
Here I am today:
Here I am today:
(Still have weight to lose but we're getting there!)
Thank you for reading all of that! Can't wait to share more of the how and why in the coming months!
Laura
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